No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
