Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
