I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
