He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
