dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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