All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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