You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
so much tequila, so little girl.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
