WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
