Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
