Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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