Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize