That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
