over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
