Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize