am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize