Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
