should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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