I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't put those talents on a resume
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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