Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
