we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
