tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
