Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
