well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
