we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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