His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
