Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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