we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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