i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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