I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize