the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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