oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
