He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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