a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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