Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
