I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
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the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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