yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
