You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
