Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
