After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
