Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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