i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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