I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My penis needs a shock collar
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
