Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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