Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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