Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize