He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
