where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
