So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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