stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
