Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize