I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
