He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Pants are for mortals
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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