Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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