that's an acceptable place to lick
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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