Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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