If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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